BENJAMIN A. TAYLOR IS ON THE INTERNET!

I'm a simpleton. Twenty some odd years ago, when I was an Ovum, I met a traveler who showed me many great things. We started a relationship that blossomed over the course of a few months. During which, the traveler made me diverse and a thinker. Helped me develop. When the time came, I felt that I should move on and experience all that life had to offer. So I moved in with a couple from Alabama that go by the name Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad taught me many important things. They instilled morals into me. Stuff like, if I was caught shoplifting, I would be sent to live in Cuba. If I did drugs, I would end up marrying a girl who beat me. Things I still believe to this day.

After a few years of grooming me, they took in another homeless person by the name of Sister, who happen to have the uncanny ability to shank people while they sneezed. Years later, we will look back and see the irony of that last statement.

Dad had a job that required him to move from time to time. He would take Mom, myself, and Sister to these places. We learned the local culture, and people probably looked at us funny. It was the shanking, I swear.

So here I am today, filling in this box so you people can better understand who I be. I look back on the paragraphs I just wrote, that you just read, I guess it would of been easier to just say that Mom and Dad didn't hug me enough, and I'm still bitter about not getting that pony for my sweet 16.

I like bears. I dislike contracting rabies.